The reality of the whole thing hit me this time around. Now that I am older and able to discuss my condition better with my doctor, I became aware of how this is something that cannot be cured completely unless I had surgery to remove them. Even then, there would still be a risk of these things coming back. There is also the fact that during the operation/surgery, if the doctor deems it necessary, part or my whole thyroid gland might need to be removed and doing so would mean a lifetime of medication for me. I am told that my condition is usually benign but it is still something that could and probably should be biopsied just to be sure.
My surgery is an elective procedure. It is my choice whether or not to push through with it. Considering the fact that there are times when my voice is affected and my airway seems to be getting blocked, I knew that this was something that I needed to do before it became an emergency procedure. I have had one doctor recommend surgery before and when I sought a second opinion and got the same response, I took it as a sign that I needed to push through with it now while I am healthy enough to undergo the procedure.
If God is in control, how could he let this happen?
Because we are locked into time and are unable to see beyond today, we cannot know the reasons for everything that happens. Thus we must often choose between doubt and trust.
Will you trust God with your unanswered questions?
Daily Inspiration – OMF Literature
I can't remember a time in my life when I haven't been sick in one way or another. For some reason, instead of questioning God about why I am again having health issues, I find myself just letting go and having faith in God's divine plan for me. My co-workers are surprised about how calm I am about the situation. Sometimes I even surprise myself.
Don't get me wrong, I do have fears about the whole thing but if there's anything I've learned in life, there's no point in worrying about things that I have no control over. I just have to do what I can and leave the rest up to God. Things may seem bleak right now and I may not understand why things are happening but I believe God has a reason for everything. Yes, I am afraid. I'm only human. But I also trust that God will see me through this in the end.
When I moved to the province from the city years ago I wasn't happy and questioned it constantly but now I realized that I can't imagine who I could have been without that move and the experiences the change in scenery have taught me. I would not have become a blogger and I would not have met the people that have become my good friends if I didn't move. I would not be who I am today without that experience. I'd like to think that this phase in my life is simply a life lesson for me to learn and grow from...and I really do hope that I learn and grow from it.
I cannot doubt God because in spite of everything, he has always come through for me. As the saying goes, I trust God with my life. After all, he was the one who gave it to me.