Turning 40

March 26, 2017

As early as December last year, I was trying to think of good 40th birthday ideas or ways to celebrate my 40th birthday. I was planning to maybe have a staycation at Bellevue Hotel with my family since I enjoyed my recent stay or have an overnight trip at some resort with friends to celebrate since I haven’t seen them in years(!?). I thought of maybe having a spa day with my sisters. Or maybe to go out an eat at one of those fancy buffet restaurants with my family.

Unfortunately, all my ideas went out the window when my grandmother passed away early last month. There was just no time to plan anything at that point, especially since she was buried just days before my birthday. The fact that we had relatives staying over at the time also automatically meant celebrating my birthday at home. It was just the practical choice.

One of the things that I usually do on my birthday month is to hide my birthday on Facebook. I prefer receiving greetings from people who remember my birthday. I’d rather have birthday message and wishes from people who do not feel obligated to greet me just because it’s announced on social media. Besides, it shows which people I’m closest to because they do remember and make it a point to greet me on my birthday. It just feels more special that way.

I’ve been thinking of giving myself 40 gifts for turning 40. After all, I’ve been sick so much since I was a kid to this day that I feel it’s an achievement to even be 40. I’ve come up with a list of gifts for myself but so far it hasn’t reached 40.  I guess that means that as one gets older you realize that you do not want or need that much of anything. Some of the gifts on my list are simple and don’t need a lot of money and effort to accomplish but some of the other things on my list I cannot even give to myself because they’re just too crazy! I’ll share more about that in another post! I think I should rename that list from 40 Gifts for Turning 40 to Gifts That Shall Be Given for the Next 40 Years for Turning 40 because some are just so way out there (mostly because I couldn’t think of anything more that I wanted).

yema cake
Birthday Cake from my Co-workers (Yema Cake!)

My birthday celebration was simple. One of my sisters bought a cake. My other sister prepared some food and some of my relatives came over to celebrate with me over dinner. One of my nephews came over to celebrate with me. My other nephew made me smile repeatedly when he blew the light off the candles on my birthday cake.

Some of the people at work came over to surprise me with cake and a song – I kind of spoiled the surprise because I came out of the house before they were ready because I thought I heard a car park in front of our gate!

this is 40
It was a happy birthday…it wasn’t what I expected but it was OK. I’m still hoping that maybe sometime this year (or maybe on my next birthday) I can have that staycation and that get together with friends that I was hoping to have on my birthday.

I think that turning another decade older is making me think about how life is short. It would be a miracle considering the kind of lifestyle our generation has for me to have another 40 years in my life – I can’t imagine turning 80. I’ve just been having thoughts of how these next years of my life must be lived to the fullest and the best way I can.  I want to live the rest of my life on my terms. Not something dictated by other people, not living it by what’s trendy, but because it’s the way I want it to be.

Something about this age and looking back has me wondering if I had done enough with my life so far. I feel like I haven’t. I feel like I need to do more with it.

So this is 40…I still feel the same. My brain feels like it is still in my 20s and trying to pretend that I know what I’m doing with my life. For the most part 40 feels like my 20s brain just winging it.

Oh well, let’s see how the rest of it goes shall we?

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