Swipe Right for Michael Vartan

July 16, 2017

[I’m back!!! Apologies for the lack of blog entries, life happens. Hopefully I can get back on track soon. New posts about what I’ve been up to lately will be online soon. Here’s my latest one!]

The first time I noticed Michael Vartan was in the movie Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore. I became a fan and started looking for Michael Vartan movies to add to my (then) VCD collection (I think DVDs weren’t that popular at the time just yet --- my age is showing). I had a huge crush on the guy. I was crazy about him!

When Alias came out in 2001, I became a fan of Sydney and Michael. I watched every single episode and waited until the two characters ended up together. This was before the term “ship” was even popular. I was so happy when Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner started dating and I was very disappointed when they broke up because I always thought they were perfect for each other.

Eventually, Michael got married and for some reason, he was not so visible in the entertainment scene. He had movies and TV shows, but I don’t think they ever had significant airtime or cinema showings around here. In short, I forgot about him for a while. Fast forward to 2014 and news came out that Michael Vartan and his wife had split up (uh, yay?). Just two years later, he is back and visible on TV on the new hit show The Arrangement, where he plays a very creepy leader of a group that is NOT based on Scientology (wink, wink).

While I would love for Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner to get back together (she and Ben Affleck are getting divorced anyway), there’s still that young girl in me who has a huge crush on Michael Vartan. So when he announced that he was on Tinder, I downloaded the app and signed up for a paid account in the hope that I would find him and I could swipe right. Not that he would actually swipe right for me either but I had to try!

Michael Vartan on Tinder
Swipe, swipe, swipe! (Photo from rawpixel on Pixabay)

With a paid account on Tinder, I switched my location to LA, where Vartan is said to be based. I thought it would be easy since I limited my “People Nearby” to those in his age bracket but it was not that simple. I swiped left over and over but never found him. It was amusing to browse though, since LA men of a certain age mostly seemed to be working in the entertainment industry as either journalists, producers, directors, entertainment lawyers and whatnot – some of them even had profile photos that featured their “celebrity friends.” Kris Jenner featured in quite a few, surprisingly. Is being her friend a badge of honor? Am I missing something here?

It was weird to see some profile photos of guys with women they seem to be dating or are married to – I mean, if you’re looking for someone, why have a picture WITH someone? I shudder at the thought of what they might have in mind (I will NOT go there).

There were some guys who looked like they were online only to hook up but some looked like they were genuinely looking for someone to have a relationship with. So
me of them were also obviously single dads or divorced and had kids. Many them had their children feature prominently in their photos in a possibly “this is what you get if you swipe right” kind of way.

After two months, I gave up my search. It was just taking too much of my time (and money). Plus, I’ve never really been into the online dating thing so even if I did see a cute guy or two, I never swiped right. I unsubscribed and deleted my account. Goodbye Michael! I tried for you, I really did!

I must admit that spending that much money for two months of swiping left just to look for Michael Vartan on Tinder was a bit much but hey, I had to give it a shot. Better to have tried than to keep wondering what if.

I wonder if anyone ever found him on Tinder. I would love to know what happened if they did!

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