Lifestyle Blog from the Philippines

Thursday, March 15, 2018

The Birthday

I recently celebrated my birthday. It was my 41st. I have gotten to the age where I know women shouldn’t even be saying their age anymore, much less celebrating their birthdays. I know that it seems a bit much but this year, I truly did not feel like celebrating.

Like most of my birthdays lately, I spent the day with my family. I shared meals with them, blew the candle from a cake given by my sister, and just stayed home. The following workday I went out with my workmates for coffee to celebrate. As much as I appreciate the fact that people were celebrating with me, I can’t explain it, but I just felt empty. 

Like what I mentioned in an earlier post, this year is the year of change for me. More than anything the way I felt about my birthday cemented that. Things need to change if I feel that my birthdays are no longer worth celebrating and when the day feels empty. 

Obviously, my life needs to change for things not to feel so empty, so repetitive, and yes, boring. I know that resolutions usually happen in the new year but I'd like to make an exception. Besides, it's not so much about resolutions but more about things I want to do for myself now that I am a year older:

I need to be excited about what I do with my life on a day to day basis. 

I want a find a job/career that can help me to find that excitement in my life. I need to have a life that I feel passionate about. Something that would make me feel fulfilled. I want a job that is not just a means to an end, not something that makes me feel like a cog in the machine. I want something that I love, something that I am happy to be involved in. I really need to find that this year.

I want to be healthier. 

I want to have more birthdays to come if I am going to shake things up and change the way I live my life. I keep putting off visits to the doctor because of work and family responsibilities. It's time that I take charge of my life and do some self-care. I deserve it.

I need to stop putting in the time for people who do not matter.

You know how it is: there are people that you have in your life who (honestly) you would rather not be involved with. I want to stop trying to please everyone and just live my life. If it means cutting off the negative people in my life, I will do it. Life is too short to waste my time on toxic people who do nothing but make my life miserable. There are far too many other people who are worthy of my time who I should focus on.

I'm at that point in my life where I don't need a lot of money or material things to make me happy. I just want to feel fulfilled, I want to feel healthy and I want to be surrounded by people that I love who also love me back. It's not too big of an ask, but it is a challenge to get.

Hopefully (fingers crossed) next year I can say that I have accomplished these three things that I want for my birthday this year...although if I can look as amazing as Jennifer Lopez at 42 next year that wouldn't hurt too!

These three things needed to happen years ago...maybe this year will be the one for it! I need to make it happen!


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