Lifestyle Blog from the Philippines

Monday, January 14, 2019

A Short Flirtation With Online Dating

As a single woman in my 40s, I constantly get questions regarding my intention (or lack thereof) to get married and having a family of my own. I remember a friend of mine in the same situation saying that if we were given money every time we were asked about it we would be rich by now.

To appease people who were “concerned” about my single status (as if it is a death sentence of some sort), I decided to try online dating. I have never been interested in the concept but I thought, “What do I have to lose?”

Photo Credit: Riala from Pixabay

First thing I tried: Tinder. I mostly swiped left, so I left (pun intended) the app. I later heard it was more of a hook-up app anyway so I think I made the right decision. I tried again later when I heard Michael Vartan signed up for it but gave up when I couldn't find him no matter how many times I swiped and paid to view users in Los Angeles.

The second thing I did was browse Plenty of Fish (POF). There was a guy in the UK that I had this crush on (twoscoops78, whose looks reminded me a bit of The Flash’s Rick Cosnett) so I decided to sign up. Unfortunately, I had difficulty with the sign-up process and gave up after several tries. By the time that I did get to sign up successfully the account was gone. I stopped using POF and later found out that I could not sign in – which led me to conclude that they probably have a feature that cancels your account of lack of activity.

I moved on to OkCupid, where I got tons of messages from guys who either thought that: (a) I was a woman desperate to be some sort of mail-order bride or (b) that I could be easily flattered by being called babe. Apparently, my looks are very message-worthy to the African American contingent, as well as old, white guys who look like they have nothing else better to do than go on OkCupid. I did get to chat to a decent guy though: a male model who is currently living here in the Philippines who looked a bit like Adam Levine. However, I decided that one decent contact in three months compared to the dozens of creepy messages I got were not enough to keep me on the site. I deleted my account after that.

I tried to sign up with the new dating site that was advertised online called Diptyc. It was a difficult site to join because they had so many questions that you had to answer (some requiring answers longer than most dating sites) and at the end of it all your “application” would still need approval from other members of the site. I ended up being declined, as was another single friend of mine. A third friend managed to get the seal of approval but informed us that it did not live up to the standard that they supposedly had. Considering the approval process they had, you’d think they’d have a good selection of fellow singles there right? Apparently, that was not the case.

Now, after having tried four online dating sites, I have decided to give up on this concept. I am still open to meeting someone new and dating (as unlikely as that may be given how I’m mostly at work or at home), but online romance is probably not for me.

To my family and friends, sorry to disappoint you but I tried. As James Ingram (and lately, Manny Pacquiao) said: “I gave my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough.”

The eternally single person signing out.


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