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Saturday, August 1, 2020

Pandemic Diaries: Missing Makeup

I am a low maintenance gal. I like wearing the oldest, and (as my family often says) rattiest clothes when I am at home. When I am out, I am not the type who would blow-dry my hair and wear anything fancy. I am more of a shirt and jeans kind of girl. I either wear sneakers, flats, or flip flops (if possible). Even with makeup, I do not put on as much (if at all), mostly it is a no makeup look (as pointless as that may sound to many). But with this pandemic, I must admit, I am missing the whole makeup thing, even if I never did much of it in the first place.

When I first went back to work, I realized that my makeup was not mask friendly. At the end of the day a lot of it was on my mask and I began to think of how pointless it was to be putting it on when no one could see it anyway. After that first day with makeup under the mask, I decided not to put on makeup anymore. So, for the next two months that I had been back at the office, I was going makeup-free. And, as weird as it may sound coming from me, I miss it. I miss wearing makeup.

Image by Lubov Lisitsa from Pixabay

I think that it is because I am naturally pale so not wearing makeup makes me look sick most of the time. So, after a long day at work wearing a mask, I look like I had just come from the hospital after being confined when I take it off. I hate it when I see myself in the mirror looking pale. I do not really need much, just some lip color and some blush...just something to give me some color. It is disappointing that I cannot do it anymore.

It is weird but since I have not worn makeup regularly since March, I feel like I do not know how to do it anymore. I have not even bothered with my eyebrows for a while. I guess you can say that self-care when it comes to my face has gone out the window for almost half a year now. Not a pretty picture I know but it just has not been something that felt “essential” (please see my previous post). And frankly, it has not been practical either. What is the point, right?

Still, it would be nice to see the day when I could put on makeup again. I would love to see the day when I can see my face again in reflections: in a mirror, a window, or just anywhere where my face can be reflected when I go out. I would love to be able to see the faces of other people I see outside. To be able to see my friends, family and to see them smile again. 

Makeup may be such a trivial thing to complain about, but I guess it is not entirely about that. It is about not having the life that we have all been used to before and knowing that that life may never be back and that our lives may never be the same again. Even if the day comes when we have a cure and a vaccine, I have this feeling that our lives will never be the same again after this pandemic. 

One day, someday, I hope we can all see each other’s faces up close and personal again. I hope one day we can all take off our masks and smile at each other and know that everything will be ok. Maybe one day I can wear makeup again. Maybe that one day will be soon. 

That one day feels so far away.

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