Lifestyle Blog from the Philippines

Sunday, April 11, 2021

Sunday Update 20: Uncertain Times

Another week, another quarantine classification update. From ECQ, we are now on MECQ. Whatever that means. So far to me, it seems the same as ECQ except that the curfew hours are different. Oh, and this time, we get to wait until the end of the month for the new quarantine classification. Yay.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

These times are so uncertain. You can’t plan ahead because there is no way to tell what could happen tomorrow. The fact that hospitals are still overwhelmed by the number of COVID patients and how the local health units are unable to test all the people who need to be tested shows that we are still not recovering from this. I think we are (very) far from it. It doesn’t help that people are speculating about the health of the President and are wondering about the stability of this government.

It is so frustrating to want to do so many things and not be able to do them because of the limitations of this pandemic. I am so annoyed at how powerless we all are to the things that are happening because of this virus. 

The mental toll on this is too much. Every cough or sneeze from other people makes me paranoid, even more so when that cough or sneeze comes from me. With my family, no matter how much we love each other, it has been difficult. It has become a challenge to be cooped up together under one roof 24/7. No one says it out loud, but I’m pretty sure we get on each other’s nerves and it can be a challenge to keep our cool sometimes. Don’t even get me started on the financial challenges this pandemic has caused for the family.

I think I am finally feeling that pandemic fatigue that people are talking about. I am frustrated, I am tired and I am annoyed about how things are getting worse instead of better. I know that our lives may never be back to normal in the way that we used to enjoy it, but I am really craving for some of that normalcy right now. It’s depressing that we cannot have that.

I am doing my best to be patient, to keep my cool despite the frustrating experiences I have been having during this pandemic. As much as I want to maintain being a mature adult, a professional employee, and a responsible member of my family, sometimes I just feel like screaming my heart out in anger. Either that or I want to cry nonstop and just curl myself up in bed all day. I am so tired. I am so drained.

Things will get better. Things will be OK. I would like to believe those things, but I am also feeling that whenever things will be OK would be a long way away. I feel like these days I always feel like we are just waiting for that other shoe to drop like we are waiting for more bad news to happen. Maybe I am being too negative, but I can’t help it.  Things just seem to be getting worse. All this bad news seems to be getting closer and closer to people we know or are close to. Things are getting way too real.

I apologize for such a defeatist post. It’s just one of those days when I feel like nothing is going right. Like nothing I do will be enough. I hope that things will be different soon. I hope that things will be better.  I think we all need and deserve to have things become better.


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