Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Swipe Right for Michael Vartan

In an earlier episode of The Fandesals Podcast (currently on Google, Apple and Spotify and also on YouTube), we discussed the topic of online dating. It's something that I tried but never took seriously, but I did have an amusing anecdote related to it. Here I recycle an old post from an earlier version of my blog about this story. Enjoy!

The first time I noticed Michael Vartan was in the movie Never Been Kissed with Drew Barrymore. I became a fan and started looking for Michael Vartan movies to add to my collection. I had a huge crush on the guy. I was crazy about him!

When Alias came out, I became a fan of Sydney and Michael. I watched every single episode and waited until the two characters ended up together. This was before the term “ship” was even popular. I was so happy when Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner started dating and I was very disappointed when they broke up because I always thought they were perfect for each other.

Eventually, Michael got married and for some reason, he was not so visible in the entertainment scene. He had movies and TV shows, but I don’t think they ever had significant airtime or cinema showings around here. In short, I forgot about him for a while. After a few years news came out that Michael Vartan and his wife had split up (uh, yay?). Just two years later, he is back and visible on TV on the new hit show The Arrangement, where he plays a very creepy leader of a group that is NOT based on Scientology (wink, wink).

While I would love for Michael Vartan and Jennifer Garner to get back together (she and Ben Affleck are getting divorced anyway), there’s still that young girl in me who has a huge crush on Michael Vartan. So when he announced that he was on Tinder, I downloaded the app and signed up for a paid account in the hope that I would find him and I could swipe right. Not that he would actually swipe right for me either but I had to try!

Michael Vartan on Tinder
Swipe, swipe, swipe! (Photo from rawpixel on Pixabay)

With a paid account on Tinder, I switched my location to LA, where Vartan is said to be based. I thought it would be easy since I limited my “People Nearby” to those in his age bracket but it was not that simple. I swiped left over and over but never found him. It was amusing to browse through since LA men of a certain age mostly seemed to be working in the entertainment industry as either journalists, producers, directors, entertainment lawyers, and whatnot – some of them even had profile photos that featured their “celebrity friends.” Kris Jenner featured in quite a few, surprisingly. Is being her friend a badge of honor? Am I missing something here?

It was weird to see some profile photos of guys with women they seem to be dating or are married to – I mean, if you’re looking for someone, why have a picture WITH someone? I shudder at the thought of what they might have in mind (I will NOT go there).

Some guys looked like they were online only to hook up but some looked like they were genuinely looking for someone to have a relationship with. Some of them were also obviously single dads or divorced and had kids. Many of them had their children feature prominently in their photos in a possibly “this is what you get if you swipe right” kind of way.

After two months, I gave up my search. It was just taking too much of my time (and money). Plus, I’ve never really been into the online dating thing so even if I did see a cute guy or two, I never swiped right. I unsubscribed and deleted my account. Goodbye Michael! I tried for you, I really did!

I must admit that spending that much money for two months of swiping left just to look for Michael Vartan on Tinder was a bit much but hey, I had to give it a shot. Better to have tried than to keep wondering what if.

I wonder if anyone ever found him on Tinder. I would love to know what happened if they did!

Here's the episode of The Fandesals Podcast I mentioned in this post. Hope you can give a listen and let me know what you think!


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